Friday, October 02, 2009

Blog Fodder; A personal dilemma

It’s been a very busy 4 weeks. What have I been up to? Well, two trips to South Carolina, a visit from my brother and sister-in-law, Christopher was in yet another car accident and a weekend visit from my niece and her fiancé. Now it appears we won’t have a free weekend until November.

Tomorrow, Nick and I will be attending a “reception” for one of his coworkers. October 10th we will travel to Cleveland for a family wedding. And various work commitments Nick has to perform the last two weekends of the month ensure minimal down time.

The event we’re attending tomorrow is something I’ve been struggling with for about two months. You see, it’s a same-sex couple. Over the summer they were “married” in another state where it is legal and recognized.

While looking for wedding cards for our family member I came across a plethora of civil union and same-sex wedding cards. Columbus has a sizable gay community so I wasn’t all that shocked to see them stocked between the birthday and sympathy card section. However, I couldn’t bring myself to purchase one. I left with 2 wedding cards, one from Nick and me and one for Christopher (incase he forgets). A gift card in a small gift bag with an inscription on the tag; “Best Wishes, Nick and Janice” should suffice. It’s the best I could muster and at the same time I feel like a hypocrite.

I just traveled 555 miles to “celebrate” my best friend’s 40th birthday. Like I’ve stated before, we are polar opposites on many issues and I don’t condone a lot of her actions. I’ve confronted her, as she has done to me, regarding questionable deeds clearly outside our character. Yet we’ve never questioned our lifestyle choices.

I suppose I’m trying to reconcile the character of this couple and their lifestyle. Like my best friend, we differ on many issues. On the other hand I have found them to be hospitable, friendly and decent people. In spite of that I still can’t rejoice, honor or venerate their union.


Dinah Lord said...

Miss Janice - I've been wondering where you've been, girl! You've been busy!

And on the horns of a dilemma, too.

Good luck with that one. I struggle with that same sex marriage thing as well and I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart. I don't.

I have many gay and lesbian friends. My brother (and true best friend) was gay, so it's not like I'm a homophobe or anything. But like you, I still have a hard time reconciling it in my mind.

(there we go again, being twins!)

But I think you are handling it beautifully. Maybe you will come back with some additional thoughts you can share with us about it.

I'll be thinking of you!


janice said...

Twins indeed!

I am in no way a homophobe, my cousin (and the greatest person I've ever known) died from AIDS on April 3, 1993. I miss him so very much.

I am hoping to look at this as a learning/growing experience, without compromising my values and morals.

I will report back on the "shin-dig", LOL.

Thanks Dinah.

Tsofah said...


I would struggle as much as you. You are doing much better than I.

I don't know that I could bring myself to even go. I admire your chutzpah.