I've become an "old geezer"

I made my bi-monthly trek to Cleveland yesterday. My appointment was at 11am, taking the 2 hour drive into account I woke at 4:45 to be out of the house by 6:30 at the latest to miss the 270 loop traffic around Columbus. Nick washed and detailed my car on Sunday and being unemployed and all, it was still clean when I ventured out in the cool central Ohio morning. We were expecting temperatures in the 80's with sun so the ride home this time wouldn't find me going 40 MPH on the highway in a torrential downpour doing a hydro-plane dance between semi-trailers.


I'm normally one of the "dogs' following the "rabbit" on the freeway. I'll set the cruise at 80 if there's 1 or 2 more cars in front of me doing the same. Again, I'm unemployed and really don't want to see those flashing red and blue lights coming after me. It's also been my experience, I don't possess the skills to whine, cry or flirt my way out of a ticket.


Anyway, the trip up was uneventful. The normal idiots who don't know how to drive and tons of construction. I made it to my Moms house in exactly 2 hours. We had coffee and visited for a while before I had to leave for the doctor.


After probing and twisting my back which always makes it hurt worse than when I entered, Dr. "Sami" gave me my Percocet 7.5 and Kadian 30mg Rx's and I was on my way. Two months ago he gave me (thank you Aetna) an electo-type device, manufactured by Empi, to help with the pain. It does work much to my amazement. I told him I was no longer using the Kadian 50mg at night or the Lyrica for the foot and ankle pain. He seemed pleased and said the "lump" I've been complaining is nothing to worry about. I noted that in my calendar "just in case" Nick needs to sue because I had a growth that took over my body and "had we only caught it in time" he could own Dr. Sami's palatial estate in Moreland Hills.( I told you I'm having a hard time seeing the glass half full these days)



I returned to my Moms and chatted for about 45 minutes and went home. Before I left I took the tops off my car and decided to get some vitamin D. On my way to the freeway entrance ramp, I noticed several "youngsters" looking at my finely detailed ride. On several of the faces I noticed a look I (about 20 years ago) would give an "old geezer" I saw driving some sweet car like my beloved Camaro (of which the one pictured is my 3rd) or a Corvette. It was a look of disgust, as if to say "Hey there old man/woman, you should be drivin' a 4 door sedan in the slow lane!"

These looks only seemed to embolden me. As I enter the freeway instead of tuning in 1420 WHK talk radio until the "dead zone" I popped in a CD mix I made of 80's music. I hit the gas and shifted over 3 lanes to get to my exit and turned the stereo up (so I could hear it over the whipping wind). And I must say, the Monsoon 500 watt stereo in that car is awesome. Joe Jackson, Soft Cell, Spandau Ballet, The Police, The Smiths, Modern English, After the Fire and my most favorite song on the CD, Jane by BNL preformed live.

I was looking cool with my (prescription) sun glasses on and half temped to put on my wrist supports because hangin’ my hand over the steering wheel (also looking cool) was shooting pains up to my shoulders. I decided to just alternate between arms, so I could continue to emanate the illusion to fellow motorists.

I could only take about 20 minutes of my hair snapping me in the face and I dare not dig in my consol to look for a rubber band at these speeds. So I rolled the windows up which cut the wind down considerably. I was still looking cool!

I passed the slow pokes and negotiated through the construction on 71 south I found myself at the front of the pack going 78 MPH. Not only was I cool I was the cool leader of a Mustang, a Cadillac and BMW. Yes I was the one to get the ticket if the highway patrol was out using their radar.

By the time I hit the 270 loop my head was pounding and my back and arms were aching. Loud music, whipping wind and the sun had all taken their toll on this old geezer. I couldn’t wait to get in the air conditioned house, pop a pain pill (or 3), let the puppies out and go up to my Tempur-Pedic bed and lay down.

Yes, I've become an old geezer with a sweet, sweet ride.....