If only this was my biggest crisis…..

Grab a cup of your favorite drink and make sure you’re in a comfy chair, this is gonna be a long one. If only this was my biggest crisis…..

The best part is that it really is the single, biggest crisis in my world right now. I should “knock on wood” just to be safe.

About three weeks ago I pampered myself and purchased an iPod. The justifying purpose of the little blue rectangle was admirable really and was only to be used at work. Instead of constantly adjusting the FM reception I could listen to music or podcasts thereby increasing my productivity. I’m sure I’ll be recognized for my sacrifice and service.

{Editors Note; Everyone who knows me will tell you I’ve never been easy to please. It’s not that I have outrageous expectations, I don’t. I’m sick, I have an illness, a disease. I have ADD. No not the excuse that lazy kid’s bad students use to get away with inadequate scholastic and social behavior. I’ve been afflicted with Affection Deficit Disorder. This self-diagnosis explains my never ending quest for the perfect pair of shoes, my jacket collection and the 17 cars Nick and I have purchased since 1990. This disease only has one symptom, the “newness” of things wear off rather quickly.}

See how nicely the iPod "blue" and the Corvette "Jet Stream Metallic Blue" match.

With spring right around the corner, in the Janice household that means sports car driving weather. So, I made another purchase to further enhance my life, an iPod “cable-thingy” so I could use said iPod in my car.

The Corvette has an “auxiliary-port-do-hicky” that’ll allow me to listen to my iPod in the car. I needed just one more gadget to distract me while driving, you see XM Satellite Radio, 12 FM pre-set stations, 6 AM pre-set stations and a 6 disc CD player are not enough listening options for me, obviously.

Since I generally don’t read instructions I asked Nick to read the owners manual so I would know how to operate the radio when the “cable-thingy” was plugged into the Corvette “auxiliary-port-do-hicky”. With iPod, “cable-thingy” and key fob in hand I ventured into the garage to try out my new toy.

Now this is where the crisis comes in; imagine my surprise when I couldn’t open the door. The lock wasn’t blinking, the anti-theft light wasn’t blinking and I couldn’t open the door. At first I thought the fob battery was dead. I soon found out that wasn’t the problem. I went back in the kitchen and called for Nick to “fix-it” for me.

{Editors Note; At this point I have to tell you, I’m a complete tech-kno-tard and even though I learned to drive 27 years ago, I know nothing about cars. I can’t change a tire, I don’t pump gas and I can’t ever open the hood of my car. It’s not my job, I have no desire to learn such tasks. The same way Nick doesn’t want to do laundry, cook or scrub the toilets. I’m old-fashioned.}

So Nick returns from the garage to inform me that the Corvette has a dead battery. “A dead battery! The car is 6 months old! It’s a brand new car! Get the dealer on the phone!” All of this was said in about 3.7 seconds.

The dealer was completely inept. I realize the service department doesn’t work on Saturday, but the guy who sold us the car (and made a huge commission on 52K) was there. With our car buying history and “golden credit report” (the owners words, not mine) you’d think he’d be tripping all over himself to bring us another crappy AC Delco battery. One would think. Not so much.

{Editors Note; Below is a photo of the battery voltage display on the instrument panel. This will act as my new driving distraction. Who needs an iPod to distract them when one is now paranoid about breaking down, just constantly monitor the battery voltage}



I soon learned what being a Corvette owner was all about. While Nick was in the garage trying to open the car doors, I was googling “dead 2008 corvette battery”. This search yielded plethora of Corvette, Chevrolet and sports car forums complaining about the cheap AC Delco battery that GM continues to use in these 21st century electronic gluttons. Even opening the car door has gone from a primitive mechanical act to an electric function.

When the battery is dead you can still get the doors open. All one has to do is separate the “old-timey-style” key from the fob, then go to the rear hatch and insert the key in the lock under the lip of the rear spoiler deck to open the hatch. Once inside there’s a manual cable latch that will open the driver’s door. Now, if your car is outside you can simply call OnStar and have them open the door. This will not work if the car is in the garage, OnStar can’t pick up the signal. After the door is open you can then open the hood to access the engine.

I spent about an hour reading the forums only to discover the C6’s (6th generation Corvette) are extremely dependant on electronics and new AC Delco battery would only die again. Almost everything on the car draws power from the battery. Power windows, brakes, mirrors, seats, doors, gas cap access, rear hatch, navigation and OnStar just to name a few.

Needless to say we didn’t accept the dealer replacement AC Delco battery. Nick bought a big-ass battery and tender for the car and submitted the bill to the Corvette manager for remittance. Even though the dealership manager said the warranty states a replacement AC Delco, Nick pointed to the scores of battery chargers surrounding the Corvette showroom. Nuff said.

And to think, it all started with the purchase of an iPod......